Regretting the Intention to Send the Letter Never Sent.
A Thanks to my Email Draft system.
A letter to a colleague;
I opened my inbox and finished the draft. I tapped my fingers along the keyboard aimlessly, and despite a month passing, I was writing how I really felt. It was the most honest I’ve been with myself, nor anyone else in a very long time. It was humbling, and unexpected, but I am glad I did this.
I spilled my heart out to this woman, a stranger really. I barely know her, but potentially hope to have a business relationship with her!
After she read what I replied she expressed so very much compassion.
Within my belief of being strong and thriving through the unexpected things along my path. I suddenly reached my point of “humanity” and I reached out to an unexpected woman. I had been suffering silently when life hit me hard, and I finally broke down.
I wasn’t eating, I was robotic, and the grief set in hard.
I felt paralyzed.
I indeed, was, paralyzed.
I know now.
Each moment that passes.
No matter what.
I need to feel — how I feel, and express this going forward; I will hold myself accountable for my own mental health, and do what I need to do to stay healthy throughout my battle with grief.
I explain deeply, below, my heart, where I am currently at in my grief, and how I am living today.
As a mother, of an almost 13 yr old boy, and the enduring of our recent losses of 3 children within the past 3 years.
- Dated: October 17, 2020 — never sent.
- Sent — November 18, 2020.
Dear Potential Recipient;
As far as the project goes; I would like to elaborate a bit more about how the opportunity is not even close to the vicinity of what the actual definition of ‘want’ is to me. This word holds no value to me, nor does it serve purpose to my life any longer.